Following on from the work of Jen Alexander,. She has written the book, "Building Trauma-Sensitive Schools: Your Guide to Creating Safe, Supportive Learning Environments for All Students".
She has suggested that when we see students carrying out unhelpful actions, teachers could use the following phrases:
What’s up, (kiddo......name of student)?
I see you need help with . . .
What is the rule about . . . ?
Where are you supposed to be?
What are you supposed to be doing?
I bet you heard me the first time. If not, ask.
Let’s see if you can answer that question all by yourself.
Do you think it would work better to tell me or to ask me about that?
Do you think that will make things better or worse for you (or for our class)?
Are you trying to push me (or someone else) away right now?
Time for a do-over
source: https://www.futureeducators.org/how-to-handle-bad-student-behavior/